Mommyhood

When I was pregnant with Elizabeth I had all of these expectations of what being a Mom would be like.



I told myself that I would always be patient.
I would only use baby laundry detergent.
I would breastfeed for at least the first six months.
I wouldn't always dress Lizzie in pink.
I said I would never do the finger lick then wipe something off Lizzie's face.
I would let Lizzie dress herself if she wanted to and I wouldn't make her change before going out in public.
I would never let Lizzie sleep in bed with me.
I said I would always be firm and never give in.



I'd like to say that I kept my word but I've broken every single promise to myself. Yeah, I've stuck my finger in my mouth and then proceeded to wipe jam off Lizzie's face. Lizzie's wardrobe is 95% pink and I do not let her go out in public in whatever she wants to put on her body. From the moment Lizzie was born until about a month until Ross came home from Iraq Lizzie slept in bed with me. I am not always patient and some days I give in because I just don't want the fight.



Does this make me a bad Mom? No, I don't think so. I think I'm real, I think I'm normal, and most of all I think I'm honest. Even though I only made it through breastfeeding until Lizzie was four and a half months old, it doesn't mean I've failed as a mother.



Even though I had all of these ideas of what being a mother was going to be like, there are things that happen every day that I never expected.

I never expected giving birth to Elizabeth and being so deeply in love with her I literally thought my heart was going to explode.
I never thought I'd be so excited or worried over poop and pee.
I didn't realize that sloppy, open mouthed kisses would be better than any gift anyone could have given me.
I never realized how much I would love hearing my baby say "Mama" for the first time.
I never knew how much I would love a scrap paper card with a simple heart drawn on the inside.
I never expected the days when I would just look at Lizzie and be in awe that Ross and I created such a beautiful little girl.



There are so many things that Lizzie does that I never expected but most of all I never expected loving her so much. I knew I would love her but I never fully understood that love until I laid my eyes on her.



Tomorrow is a day all for me. A Mom. I will definitely be spending the day loving Elizabeth and loving the fact that I am a Mom. Even if I have to sigh under my breath when Lizzie throws a tantrum or moan and groan when Lizzie wakes me up too early, I will still be grateful that I am a Mom.



I am Mommy to my Lizzie Lou. ♥